Rebecca looked at him a bit bewildered at the new, um… person. This man Jason was redefining speed dating. It was a bit funny to her and at the same time puzzling. She was uncertain about him but she knew they needed to get out of there. They needed to get to a clear area. “And you are?”
“Bones. But I didn’t do it and I wasn’t drinking.”
“I know you told me that already. We have to get to a clear area.”
“Have no fear Ma’am! Jordan McCay at your service! I’ll protect you and get us to some place safe. You can count on it.”
“Jordan huh? Okay… this is only getting better.” She shook her head. In the last five minutes she had met five people in one body. He must be a real riot at parties she thought. “We need a clear area.”
Jordan grabbed her by the hand. “Stay close. This is no place for a lady.” He started leading her towards an open field off the side of the road.
Brian stopped dead at the side of the road. “Wait! I have allergies! I can’t go wandering into a field. I’m stuffed enough as it is.”
“Oh jeeze. And you are?”
“Brian. And this reminds me of Jeepers Creepers. Car accident, open field, there’s no way I’m going out there. He gets your scent and you are dead; D E A D dead.”
“Brian. Listen to me. We need to go out into the field. Trust me you’ll be fine.”
“Of course we’ll be. I’ve been farming all my life.” Billy Ray leaned down to grab a wheat stalk. “Hell we have 400 acres of open range. I’ve been raising cattle and horses since I was knee high to a grasshopper. Why wouldn’t we be fine?”
Rebecca was getting exhausted trying to keep track of everyone. “And WHO are YOU?”
“Billy Ray, Ma’am.”
“Ok. Stick with me Billy Ray. Don’t let anyone else through.”
He looked around, “Anyone else? Who else would there be?”
She sighed and dropped her arms to her side. Shaking her head, “Never mind. Follow me.”
Rebecca rushed them to the open field not wanting to risk having to deal with another personality. She was running out of time. They got to the middle of the field and stopped. She looked around and then opened her purse. She pulled out a bottle cap, a thumbtack and a piece of Velcro. “Billy Ray –“
“Billy Ray? Ah you met the cowboy. Why are we in the middle of the field?”
“Jason. Thank god. Hold your hand out for a minute.” She pulled his hand up and put the things in his palm. She took her shoe off and peeled back the loose flap on the sole. She took out a small metal vial and put her shoe back on.
“Ok… Jason?”
“Yep still here.”
“Good. Now you have to make a choice. You can leave now or you can come with me. I can’t say more than that but you have to make a choice and you have to make the choice now.” She looked down at her watch and back at him.
“Well things can’t get any worse than they are now so I guess I’m staying with you. But—“
“Great. I’ve only done this twice so hang on.” She grabbed the bottle cap and poked a hole in it with the thumbtack. She separated the Velcro and peeled the paper off the back. She stuck one half to her forehead. She grabbed him by the shirt and pulled, popping the buttons off. She stuck the other half of the Velcro to his chest. “Sorry that’s going to hurt later.” She quickly opened the vial and drank the contents. She spun around once and then licked her finger and stuck it in his right ear.
“And you thought I was crazy?”
“Trust me.” She leaned forward and stuck her head to his chest with the Velcro. “Put your hands on my shoulders… There you go. Ready?”
“And things can’t get any stranger?” He sighed, “I guess. I just hope—“
Jack R. Mason - Author, Armchair philosopher, scientist.
Email jackrmason@gmail.com
Blog - Ponder the Thought (http://zigtag3d.bravejournal.com/)
Tags: bizzare, fun, funny, humor, laughter
