Home Repairs For The Novice

I’m not exactly what you would call handy. In fact, I am to home improvement what Mr. T is to Victoria’s Secret. I require an overnight hospital stay if I attempt to remove the rubber band from around a newspaper. (I’ve almost put my eye out twice.)

My lack of mechanical prowess is known throughout the countryside. The borough that I live in has requested that I apply for a permit, if I attempt to build a sandwich.